Sunday, May 22, 2011

CFNM II- Fait acompli. Some musings in the afterglow



So much fun at CFNM II!
I can't believe almost a week has gone by since we had our second Clothed Female Naked Male Party here at Command Performance. I spent most of the night getting men out of their clothes, which is pretty entertaining in itself. Lots of great Dommes came out and scenes of powerful women having their way with various naked males were going on almost constantly throughout the night. Ms. V lead the cupcake licking contest again with great results from many of the slaves competing to show off their skills. Once again Ms. Maya Little was a superb co-hostess. Taylor Dawn( that's his porn-star name, he'll always be janet to me!) and boy micheal were terrific helper monkeys but it didn't stop either one of them from making themselves both attractive and useful to certain certain lovely kinkstresses who were attending a Fem Dom party at CP for the first time.
You can read more about this party on the Fetlife page

I'm really liking the CFNM parties. When I've spoken to other female friends about these parties they are always impressed at how many guys are excited about attending these parties (some visibly so- initials SB!) and how much cuter the men who come out for CFNM events tend to be vs. the other BDSM playparties. It obviously fills a need for more than a few men out there in our local scene. I have been thinking about what exactly explains the popularity of the CFNM fetish and particularly the CFNM FemDom party. Is it a need for exhibtionism? Is it just wanting some validation for all those hours spent in the gym or perhaps a more vulgar wish to get women to look at and admire the member that brings so much pride and pleasure to the male to which it is attached?
Dare I hope it is a true craving to be put in vulnerable and perhaps semi humiliating situations or to serve Superior Females before a roomful of people?
Could it be the much talked about but rarely seen " alpha male's deep seated craving to submit completely to a strong Domme Female" in search of a safe place to come out and play as it were?
I have a theory that lots of males in this culture at this time crave sexual objectification for a number of reasons. One is that after generations of using sex to sell- well, everything I believe that there is a natural tendency to equate sex appeal with units of worth in this culture. Hence ALL CITZENS are fascinated to some degree with becoming that sexy thing that = the value of anything worth having. Women(or anyone presenting as femme) have many more chances to try on this identity and bask in glow of acting out this pop culture persona and recieving all the attention that doing so brings- which is nothing to sneeze at. Men rarely have an opporuntiy and so have a reserviour of desrie to play this part which the CFNM taps into.
However, I think that this is the primary reason:
After a number of years chasing after girls and expending all of the effort involved in courtship and sexual congress as the active partner (the one who chases, who desires, who by implication, is missing something that only the object of his persuit can provide) a man must regard the other side of that equation with curiousity and a bit of envy. What must it be like to have someone want you, to lust after you and due to these lustful stirrings to be so motivated to chase you, to make you feel like a piece of meast, a piece of candy, a piece of ass, something to be hunted, taken..?

I originally arrived at this theory in mulling over the psychology of crossdressers who are not transgender but that's another entry for another time.
The CFNM fetish offers another paradigm of the sexually objectified male- one in which he does not give up his male identity or appearance or cover them with femme trappings in order to become a sex object.

It's interesting and, whatever the deep-seated or more shallowly seated yearning that make this fetish so popular, I'm a fan.
Viva CFNM!